Motivational Speaker A Top 25

Okay this is a rant, man I didn't do a rant in a long time. But anyway for those new to my rants it works like this usually I pick a topic and start mocking the certain thing I think is idiotic or just plain stupid. I try to do it in a funny way, even though I fail or you just don't get the humor you nimrods. So let's get to it since this is one of my favorite things to pick on facebook and well everywhere I find one on the internet.

Motivational quotes or pictures:

Like this one:

1.

"Yeah, I mean you didn't die this morning, so you failed at dying, which disappointed many of us. But you keep trying and if sleep doesn't help you. Try to get a hang of it all."

So let's me pick some more and try to have fun with them.
2.

Yeah man can wait to see how you're gonna tell your sun that he's proof that you tried. And failed to pull out in time.

Heh, that one was mean...

3.

First of all you should kill the fucker that's chocking you or you should get that checked out. Secondly, sure, the only difference is if you want to breathe but you can't then you fail at both.

4.

I'm pretty sure this quote helps only the addicts, the gluttons and pisses of those that are having a heart attack right now or dying due to various reasons.

5.

Just like the pregnancy test you took 2 minutes ago and the HIV test that you took 15 minutes ago.

6.

CRACK let's do crack, cocaine SO MUCH COCAINE! Let's spread AIDS get kill the fuckers. Okay but then why there prison tho? Hmm?

7.

Well dead people just some damn pussies for quitting I mean they did fail since they gave up.

8.

Either way you one dead dumb motherfucker if you're doing it with a rocket. If you're shooting with a shotgun for the moon then you one drunk/high motherfucker.

9.

Yay first time rapers! I mean you've got to do something that you've never done, right?


10.

Well this is the thing that invented the stalkers and the restraining order, so I guess it worked? No it didn't let me remind you of all the bad things that are out there like pedophiles, serial killers, Justin Bieber, these quotes.

11.

Just look how Hitler turned out to be...

See?


12.

Ask the men that worked years to make their lady's get to the O town and failed...


13.

#YOLO


14.

How does this even work? Get you where? That's the fucking problem in the first place, it's like asking a guy that has amnesia every second where you should take him, you can't take him anywhere.


15.

If you can do that an survive from that height you're a fucking superhero.


16.

He's probably just full of shit.


17.

Motherfucker that's my job!


18.

Like the knife I have right now in your heart.

19.

Blind people rejoice you are the bravest people on this earth. Wait,shit they can't read this...Somebody tell them that they are the bravest people on this earth.

20.

Like robbing a bank, assassinating a president, eat glass, anal, I bet it;s anal, hear ladies? That's probably the right thing to do.


21.

Be the rapist with the great attitude, I bet you'll be let go by the police. Or be the Hitler with a better attitude surely no one would want to kill you.

22.

YEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEES! She says no? That's a yes in my book! You fall asleep I come to steal your shit. And I do both better than I did it yesterday. Watch Agents of SHIELD? BUNGIEEEEEEEEEEEEE(Gaming reference)

23.

You should really tell someone to take you to a doctor to check that shit out, cause you my friend have a problem.

24.

Impossible. Why? Well I want to meet a cute girl that has a great sense of humor, intelligent and with the same girl I hope to have sex many freaking times, so this is fucking bullshit!

25. Last but not least.

Right, if someone can explain how can I become a high end gaming laptop, the girl of my dreams, money, pizza and many other things get's a cookie.

Well hope you enjoyed my bad jokes and the way I went overboard with many things. Until chapter 24...